I Do Stammer!

IMG_1793I wont hesitate to tell you all how amazing my birthday was on Sunday (11th August). I didn’t expect anything at all from anyone so the little that I got really made my day. I had cake, a tee shirt (wont say the name of local designer lol), complimentary cards made specially for me, Cool Water (really wanted another bottle because the little I had was done a long time ago. One of my favourite colognes), a shirt specially made for me by Hemlyne and I received a silver ring designed with a special stone from Niger (Adamu of Ms Naa fame gave me this). I also found out that I shared the same birthday with Jeanne, so she called me over to come chill and chitchat with her and a couple of other friends. The topping of all these were the countless messages I got on facebook and twitter, they all made my day a memorable one.20130811_185110

Enough of that, that isn’t the reason for this post, I really want to talk about a disability that has been so intense in the last couple of months. I guess some of you who know me personally know what I am talking about. Yes, my speech disability. I stammer, and after I finished my last One Show interview on Viasat1 with PY and Joselyn on the 19th of June, it has increased. I know most will doubt this because you might not notice it when I speak and others will say the rate hasn’t escalated. I get you all, but the difficulty I go through before enunciating has really increased.

I didn’t learn how to stammer like some people do, I came to the world with it, the dad that I never knew and saw just twice before he died had a very serious shutter and most of my 23+ siblings on my father’s side do stammer. It’s a beauty when we come together and talk. I usually resist myself from calling especially 2 of my brothers (Theo and Kakra) because we would stammer our talk-time away. And when I am speaking to my siblings, I do not force myself not to stammer because I know I am on familiar grounds.

In primary school, I had a very serious stammer and that made me very quiet and timid, I hardly talked in class and will never raise my hand to answer a question. I remember how my mom used to pray for me and how she always got worried anytime I was in the midst of people. But I was able to fight it as I got older and now it is way better even though my wish is to make it vanish totally. Never gone through therapy in my life and now, I sometimes think about it. When I am around people I am comfortable with, I never stammer unless an argument ensues then hell breaks. Its like I am choking, losing my breath, my tongue wants to fall out and my eyes want to pop. It’s an experience that no one would want to experience.

Usually, I get the question about how I don’t stammer when I am performing. Yes, I never stammer on stage and it’s amazing. I cannot explain, at first I thought it was because I memorize stuff over and over again so it becomes locked up and familiar in my brain but I think that is somehow not true. I’m saying so because I have had opportunities of hosting several events where I don’t have to memorize anything I say and I flow without any hindrance. This is something that I want to do away with, I want to have kids who wont stammer, I want to speak without thinking twice first and I basically want to be vocal. However, something I have never tried is to search for remedies on google and youtube and I think it’s time I do that. Lol!

I hope I didn’t bore you at all with this post, I know this is quite personal. I am posting this because it’s a worry. It’s something I think about when I am stepping out of my house to face the world, but I know there is nothing impossible so I can fight this. Isn’t it wonderful how I am a spoken word artist?

I sometimes wish my daily endeavours were stages to me, so I wouldn’t stammer.

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19 thoughts on “I Do Stammer!

  1. The beauty of this post is the fact that u’ve taken e first n bold step to publicly tlk abt it n trust me,God hs a reason for everything n a day is coming wen u will refer to this post😊😊😘😘

  2. Ok, so you actually got very personal like you said on Twitter. It’s alright tho, used to stammer too but people said it was bcos I liked talking fast, so I started talking slow. You’ll overcome someday

  3. Everything in life happens for a reason and you would never know why something came your way. Its a natural cause, but if you think you can fight it do your best and ask for devine help, if not just forget and thank God for your life. Will always cherish you for who you are. But am happy to we share the same birthday of which I never knew.

  4. The family time you talked about is so sweet! Family will always be family.
    Thanks for sharing this. Not easy to admit and not easy to share. 😉

  5. hmmmm chale i no no wat i 4 talk sef………………all i go fit talk be say e no dey matter i still love ur poems wey de poems do all de talking……..only God noe noe wat u go talk if u no have dis problem……………let his name be praised

  6. Mutombo you are blessed beyond words. you dont have to utter the words in your poems for anybody to know that. self made, hardworking, down to earth free spirit.
    have a blissful rest of your life..

  7. A frnd of mine back in JHS stattered a little. He overcame it by adopting a talkertive attitude. He was always eager to talk and tries to talk very fast to avoid the breaks in his speech. I know this because he explained to us that it’s been his way of minimizing the stammer. By the end of SHS he was no longer stammering.
    I think u shd seek more advice and professional help too. One of them may work.

  8. Aww … ye shalt overcome! As I always say, that makes you unique, you’re super special my pal!
    The remedy/therapy you are looking for is in you, and I know for sure you’ll find it. Don’t forget your life/daily endeavours are stages, and you wouldn’t stammer. 🙂

  9. i knew it!!!!! but hey! it would only have taken really observant people and people really close to you to notice. Tis all good.You could talk to God about it too…:0

  10. It is quite amazing to know how despite your stammer, you’ve crafted a niche for yourself in the spoken word industry. I stammer too….but frankly I don’t really mind. Actually sometimes I like it, it helps my brain get a step ahead of the conversation whiles my lips figure out which words to use in filling the vacuum.

    Oh oh yea, I do stammer, when I am REALLY mad, another unintentional warfare tactic which puts fear into whoever stepped on my toes!!!

  11. The ending was just right.It’s such wonderful wish.

    Been wanting to read this post since but I’ve always postponed it,I’m glad I finally have.

    I used to stammer very slightly at one point in time but I do somehow stammer when I’m very furious.

    I’ve realised that when I’m pronouncing some words or phrases I pause for a second and pronounce it quickly.It has bothered me for while but not much.
    There are certain parts in some of my poems that I almost always run over too quickly that I sometimes feel the audience do not hear.

    Several months ago (could almost be a year now) I read about speech defects.I don’t remember exactly what moved me to but that condition I  slightly have was part of the reason. I realised there were quite a number of speech defects. 

    As a SpokenWord artist it can be bothersome sometimes.

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